​(Interview)
Mount Vernon Grace Church (Lauri Haug)
How long have you been involved with Friendship House and when do you volunteer?
we serve on the first Friday of every month. Grace church has been around for about eleven years but the previous church that we attended (Bethel Church Sedro-Woolley) did Friday dinners with the Friendship House café for a few years before it was disbanded. In the beginning days of grace church, we thought ““hey, we should volunteer at Friendship House again””, so grace church has been volunteering at the café most of the time since then except for one short period of time. I, personally, have been involved with the Friendship House for about 10 years but other members of our church were there for the entire transition from Bethel to Grace church.
Main dish?
Our main meal changes every month depending on the season, for example in June or July we will serve hamburgers or hot dogs with potato salad. Sometimes in the holiday season around November and December, we serve tater-tot casserole, turkey pot-pie, Ham and things like that. We always serve a dessert along with a bible verse of good prayer but instead of giving it out in the line we personally pass out the deserts individually to the patrons at their table, we try to get around and make sure that everybody is doing ok.
What got you involved?
We thought about starting a soup kitchen at our church. We were going to buy a building that could be used for this service, it had a dishwasher, service counter, oven and a lot of the stuff that you would need but it wasn’t complete. In the end, we never got that far, and we decided to start back at Friendship House. When I began, I was really surprised at how many churches and different groups donate food and time there, it was really encouraging. Even the funeral home, if there is anything left after the service they will pack it all up and bring it here and that’s just great because it is all helpful.
What is your favorite part?
Seeing the expressions on the faces from what we are serving and that they really appreciate it, that is the most rewarding part.
We really hope to make everyone who comes for a meal to feel special, because they are special. We put centerpieces on their table with decorations and bring the dessert directly to them to show that people care, and it just brings a wonderful presence in that room and you can tell just by the conversations going on how appreciative everyone is.
For me, my favorite part is serving that meal and seeing someone coming back to say thank you, even if they don’t speak English they just give you two thumbs up, that means it was good and that’s important. One of those makes up for everything, it is good and its good for us to do this too. It's rewarding you know, it's not a one-way street. When you help somebody else you get it back.
what changes have you seen?
The new café has made a big difference for us and I know that it makes a big difference for training people because it is so much more like a kitchen. In the old one if you had like 6 people it was too much and we were tripping over each other. Trying to get around to open the oven and the oven is right there on the serving counter. And on the other side of the counter, they fit 16 people in that tiny room.
I was saddened by the news that Friendship House would no longer be serving Breakfast and lunch because I believe that if the people need 3 meals a day we should serve it. No matter your status and situation nobody can do any good on an empty stomach. If you think that you are going to get a perfect class of people when you are serving the homeless, your wrong. But they are god’s children and whatever stage of their life that they are in they need to be helped and served. We need to give them hope and some sort of stability to help them get started on a positive routine.
Challenges?
One time when the pastor was working with us at the old kitchen, there were about five of us and we were putting the meal together and started putting everything together to go but everyone had to leave because they had other obligations afterward or they just came to cook and that was it. but the pastor said, I'm here. I'm not sure how many we served that night, but we did it ourselves, just the two of us, so it was interesting.
Sometimes staff in our group is just thin and that makes it hard to do the first Friday around summer time and holidays because everybody is going to be gone for the weekend. There was one time we scared the kitchen manager, tom. It was getting close to The Fourth of July,  we called tom and said” well, I hate to have to tell you this, but we can't do this Friday the fourth of July because everyone is going to be gone. We decided that we could just give the donation of the food for that day to him and he was happy to work with that. I wasn’t trying to tell him that we were going to leave him out in the cold, so we just took up an offering and everyone at our church was generous, and we were able to buy everything and drop it off, it was nice. That doesn’t happen very often that we have to cancel, and we hope to never have to do it again but we think we know what’s going to happen, but we really don’t.
 How do you supply and sustain this?
​Kathy Brown here is one of seven of our Community Services Committee members, and is our primary shopper for our monthly FH dinner. I think the biggest challenge is that often people get to busy in their own lives and they don’t stop to set time aside for somebody else, unintentionally, it just happens. Sometimes its family matters sometimes it is staffing.  We like to be able to come in, start early in the morning to get groceries. Then some will go to lunch and others will come to help clear it but to get the whole thing from beginning to end we are sometimes a little short on the service part. We would like to be able to do it all, buy it, prepare it, serve it, without asking for help but sometimes were shy on volunteers. that’s the biggest challenge I think sometimes but we have a pretty solid team at the moment. I'd love to have an alternating schedule so that we can say, “hey, this week so and so will be serving, if you can’t serve just let me know and we’ll get somebody to cover it for you. For now, we just pass round a sign-up sheet and that sometimes gets people motivated.
We haven’t pushed the signup sheet lately because we have a solid group. When we take up the offering we declare publicly that if you'd like to help prep be there at 2:30 and if you want to help serve then be there at 4:30. That usually gets everyone's attention to contact Lauri, but we've got about 6 of us who are full time on it. well, just one Friday a month, and it’s good to sacrifice something for everyone else in the world to make it a better world
 What is your biggest take away from all of this?
There was a time when our pastor, he ran into a lady that he knew while serving dessert and he said “you never know who you are going to meet here. she was a fairly wealthy woman with a couple of homes and she lost everything. Now she’s her at the Friendship House eating dinner”. So, he sat down and prayed with her. It can happen to anyone, anybody can be in this situation. 

​Mount Vernon Presbyterian Church
 (Laurel coalwell -2nd Tuesday) (Barbara Hazelwood -1st Thursday)
When do you volunteer and how long has this been going on?
One group comes in on the first Thursday of every month while another group serves on the second Tuesday and we have been cooking at the Friendship house since 2003.
What got you involved?
Barbara “Me and my husband started in 2011 back when the café was still located in the house. At that time, I was only helping to make the chicken casseroles and was told what the food was for by a member named Patti who had been assisting in this service since 2003, I liked the idea and decided to help serve.” What a place to be sheltering so many men and women and cooking for the public on top of everything, “this new cafe is like heaven. We helped for probably a year but then the people that were in charge kind of dropped it, one girl couldn’t work in those close quarters because of allergies and other problems.
 “We started a second time in 2013, that’s when Laurel and Paul joined us doing it the 1st Thursday of each month but the problem was still that the kitchen had space for no more than a couple of people. The tables that they had set up could only hold 12 people at a time, 6 and 6. That was all we could do then but now we can feed up to 35 people at a time”
Laurel “I got involved when Barbara asked me to help and I thought it would be a neat thing to do. But the people that come to the door are what it’s about.”
What is your favorite part?
“It’s always that fuzzy feeling that keeps us coming back. even when at the end of the day we are tired, and our feet hurt, you still have that fuzzy feeling that you did something good and that’s what keeps us doing it. just knowing how much we are helping makes it all worth it and that’s what counts.
what changes have you seen?
The construction of the café has been a monumental change for the good. Some of Mount Vernon Presbyterian Church’s members like Kevin Kok helped supply materials to build this café in 2013 and in December it was opened.
Some members began starting other volunteer groups to help out, like Garry jones who started cooking with Kiwanis Club of Mount Vernon at the Cafe. Even in Oak harbor and other cities, members began taking the café’s structure and operation tactics into other organizations to supply people in need with a smile and a warm meal. For example, Ryan’s house in Oak harbor has begun a shelter for teens in which they implement a similar meal program.
Challenges?
“In the beginning, we were serving a lot of corn, but many people were turning it down. We began to realize that the reason was that corn is hard to digest. we did not know the health status of these people, so we switched to green beans in attempts to feed them without bothering their health. We are trying to make them happy, not sick.”
Our church began by making chicken noodle casseroles in 2011. laurel had been making them way before she even started serving. Members of our church made them at the church and then brought them here. At that time the café was serving maybe 4000 people a month. We had to have 5 casseroles cooked and did it for so long that I think people got tired of making them.  it was soon just two cooks and at this point and they were thinking about not doing it anymore. Some members decided to switch off every other month so that they wouldn’t get overwhelmed, but the cramped space of the old kitchen began to take its toll on some of the members. And so, we stopped for a little while and started up again in 2013.
 At that time the café was under construction and we did not stay in the house cooking for very long. It was two teams of two then but taking turns every other month. we were so relieved when we were able to start using the café. we kept talking about how much we liked it and as people heard about it more and more people began stepping up to help. Eventually Mount Vernon Presbyterian was able to gather so many volunteers that they had to split days and so they served twice a month through two different groups of 5-6. Barbara’s team normally tackled the first Thursday while Laurel’s covered the second Tuesday. And cooking a meal for 50 to 115 people is still a lot of work, even with two teams because they work from scratch, collecting, coordinating and cooking the meals.
How do you supply and sustain this?
Coordinating the food can sometimes be a challenge, although the church supplies the funds through a predetermined budget, two people, Laurel and Barbara are mainly in charge of the buying and procuring of items.
Main dish?
 The original main dish was Chicken casserole but “It’s a lot of work trying to cook for that many people and it gets more challenging when you consider that each day can vary from 60 to up to 100 people. I think the most we’ve had is 115 because we serve hamburgers and that day we brought 118 hamburgers and by the end of the day there were 3 left.” In this past month of July 2018, the café served over 6700 people.
 “The main dish for Tuesday is now hamburgers, baked beans, potato salad, and cookies. and the main dish for Thursday has been spaghetti, cold slaw, cookies, green beans but for this summer we are trying to change things up and make pulled pork sandwiches.”

 
 

1st Evangelical Lutheran Church Interview (Mike Norris)
As I interviewed Mike Norris I learned that he has been a member of this church for over 40 years. Although 1st Lutheran church had been helping for the past 28 years, Mike was only faintly aware of his churches connection to the friendship house. That was, until one night about 20 years ago when he was asked to help serve food for a night. Mike said “that really changed pretty much my whole perception of what this mission was all about, just to be there and participate in it.” For the last 8 years, he has overseen preparation and volunteer coordination for 1st Lutheran's dining services at the friendship house which occurs on the last Tuesday of every month.
When do you volunteer and how long has this been going on?
-    Last Tuesday of every month, 28 years
What got you involved?
“I was on the social ministry committee of our church helping with the many outreach ministries, you know, part of our credo is to serve our fellow man.” “And so I was attending our very last meeting for the term and heard that our meal process for the friendship house had fallen apart and was in complete Desiree because it was left in the hands of one or two people. sometimes they didn’t have food for people and tom would just have to make something up on the spot, and sometimes they would arrive with the food after the café staff had already begun to prepare a replacement meal. It was in dire need of an organized system with a flow, plus someone to oversee it”
 “my interest in friendship House happened in that first time I served food down there and I actually saw the human need in front of me.  I witnessed the appreciation and the devastation in some people, in terms of their lives, and the importance of outreach, that’s when it called my attention to it”.
What is your favorite part?
 “The servers, they get the real reward as they are serving and interacting with the people because that’s where the real payoff is. It is not a matter of being do-gooders but there is such value in being aware of what the needs are of the local people. I mean just basic human needs like food, secondly you are reminded of your own blessings and realizing that there is far more reward in giving than receiving, you see it there. Once again, people that help are reminded of their own blessings of being able to help and that is the real value of this thing.”
what changes have you seen?
- When mike first started helping, 8 years into 1st Lutherans mission, he says that they were serving up to 35 people per meal out of the tiny kitchen in the men's house but has seen it grow to serve from 50 to 150 people per meal. “When we first started they had this little kitchen in the Men’s house and it was just too cramped, hardly any place to sit but then it was just 30 or 40 people at a time. “
Challenges?
-one of the biggest challenges is finding the resources to provide enough so that everyone can be fed. “Sometimes we run short, we never know how many are going to be there but neither do the staff, but you know, that comes with the territory. and we only serve on the last Tuesday of every month which shows you just a tiny portion of what the kitchen manager, Tom, must deal with.  On our service day’s we make sure to send in extra bits, just in case that there are more people than expected.”
How do you supply and sustain this?
 “my role is that of coordinator, my role is to make sure all of the people and all of the menu items are in the right place at the right time. What we do is put up a list of what we will need for a meal. Meat, salad dressing, brownies, All of this stuff. The green beans and cheese we provide, but the rest of it all comes from volunteers who sign up to bring these things.”
“There are four moving parts besides me, first are the people who contribute the menu items. it all has to be there by 2 pm on Tuesday afternoon at our church kitchen, 3 hours before serving so that I can know what is there and what’s not, and if it is not there then I have to get it there. The next moving part is gathering, preparing and heating up the food. Then, the next moving part is the person who comes to pick it up by 4 pm and transports it to the Café. then they set it up for the servers and do final preparations. And the final moving part is the servers who come in at a quarter to 5 and begin to serve.
“All of this is just for one day and We are just one cog in this machine that seems to work, but I know that they are short and could use more help”
Main dish?
-  the main meal served is sloppy joe served with green beans, bacon and a salad.
Comments?
- The friendship house “is a vital part of our community and they’ve done a really good job getting the word out to the community and there’s been a pretty good response, for heaven's sake, the kitchen was built by contributions and volunteer work. One of the guys from my crew is a surveyor and he did all the surveying for free to survey the area for the kitchen”

The beginnings of homelessness are many and as varied as the people who live through the experience. Tabatha’s story begins with a broken home. The stresses and pressures of that experience led to experimentation followed by the regular use of drugs. She called it “recreational” and it was her way to cope with tough times.

Her experimentation turned into a daily ritual….a habit. Life spiraled out of control as she lost her job, her home and her daughter moved in with grandma. It was time to make some changes and she made the courageous decision to move away from the temptations, distractions and people who filled her life. It was not easy but it led to a move to Skagit County.

When she got here she detoxed for a week and then was referred to Friendship House after a stay in the hospital. That was the beginning of her journey back to self-reliance and sobriety. At Friendship House she found structure and support. Every week there was an action plan to complete, a house meeting to attend, house chores plus work to do in the kitchen.

After working a while in the Café Tabatha decided to apply to the Hunger to Hope (H2H) job training apprenticeship program. That meant on top of everything else she now added at least 20 hours a week in the kitchen on top of her other activities.
But she didn’t stop there. She joined a faith community and became an active member of a recovery support group. Each of these activities contributed to awakening the life skills that were repressed through her dependency. Time management, team work, sense of urgency, personal responsibility and dependability began to become part of her daily routine.

She made connections in the professional community as well participating in a local cooking competition at the local farmer’s market and exploring job possibilities through the Washington Hospitality Association. Each step forward contributed to growing her self-esteem and bolstering her determination to stay clean and sober.
At the end of 12 weeks of kitchen training, her H2H completion party was a joy to behold as her mother and daughter had the opportunity to attend and celebrate her accomplishments.

At this point our typical apprentice begins the job search process but Tabatha made what we feel was a courageous decision. With a goal in mind of regaining custody of her daughter, she opted for inpatient treatment for her dependency. She chose the path less traveled toward long-term stability and sobriety.

In the months since she completed her rehabilitation and treatment, Tabatha has continued to impress all of us. She has a permanent job at a local office supply store. She is living independently in transitional housing in the local area. She has traded up from her bicycle by getting both her driver’s license back and a car. She’s on her way to a sustainable, self-sufficient life. We are all proud to know her.

Friendship House is a place where lives can change and people’s spirit can be renewed. Tabatha’s journey is a story of renewal and it’s that renewal that gives us hope for all the others who struggle with homelessness.

Patty came to know friendship House at least five years ago. Our Men’s house manager said she had been around at least as long as she has worked here and that has been just over five years.

Patty and her boyfriend John are both staying in our Shelters and doing incredibly well at moving toward self sufficiency. They have both been clean for over 100 days now and are determined to get their lives back.   

They will have housing soon and when they do have a home they will be able to work toward getting their children back. They both have children from previous relationships.


Patty’s life started out very rough. She had been kicked out of her mothers house when she was 12 years old and in order to survive she had to find somewhere to live. She is now 38 years old.

The place she found was with drug dealers and that was her first introduction to drugs. She started on meth amphetamine and later added heroin.

When she came to Friendship House for the services we provide like  our meal service and donation room, she could not stay in our shelter, because she was not clean and sober.

One day she and John got very sick and needed to go to the hospital. They spent several days in the hospital   and when they left they decided that something needed to change, that they were done with the life of drugs and homelessness.

They came to Friendship House this time for shelter. They found a place to heal and start to put the pieces back together.

It will be just a couple of short weeks until their time in the shelter is over. It has been almost 90 days and they have come so far. We couldn’t be prouder of the progress they have made and the determination they exhibit.

Patty Is determined to not let them be on the street again and will do everything in her power to make sure she and John are safe. They don’t want to go back to the life they had and Friendship House will be there for support even after they leave us.♥